DEATH

 A lot is said about death being an ultimate truth and how we all must meditate on death every day, and then there is a lot said about the absence of a parent acting as a childhood trauma. But how many of us really understand and still choose to love such individuals who had to face this trauma, against their will and consent, where they had to lose their pillars of strength so early on in life. Its hard, most of the people and most of the society only knows sympathy and pity as the appropriate emotions. They forgot that one day they will also experience this, one day the tables will be turned. No home is untouched by death, its not a matter of if, but when. But people in general are calculative, they calculate how much will a person take from them and how much a person will give them back. That's the (sad) reality of life.

Children who see such a loss early in life tend to fear to lose their loved ones again, and honestly, they will face more loss, it's how they perceive the world and react to it. It's a chain reaction, and we do everything possible to prevent this repetition and meet the destiny on the road we chose to avoid it.

Holding on too strongly to people who want to run away from you the minute they are set free. Finding people who seem to love us easily yet superficially, and believing in their false promises. It's not doing the hard work in relationships because of the fear that they will leave or this will collapse. Not able to stand by ourselves, bending over backwards to please and keep them. To always live this life according to someone else. There is a constant feeling of nostalgia that the best years of my life are over and deep down still feel like a child without a parent. It is like a past which is glorified more than it deserves and a future which seems more hopeless than it is.

Death is definitely around the corner, sometimes we yearn for it, when life becomes to unbearable and we feel is it actually worth living? Albert Camus talks about suicide being the fundamental question of philosophy, because it decides for that individual what that person felt about his / her life. A touch of melancholy can push you into a deep spiral, especially when we talk about death. We are all afraid of the death of our loved ones, the ones who support us and make us believe we are safe. It is a tragedy and catastrophe. 

How do we actually imagine death as an end? like a black TV screen? like an abyss? like an empty space? Or is it transformation? I try to find answers and something which touches me greatly is Thich Naht Hahn's words "a cloud never dies". He can see the cloud in his tea, he can see my parent in me. He can see ashes in fresh blades of grass. Our beliefs, are our beliefs and there are a lot of other comforting explainations too about death, tibetian believe that every living creature they encounter was their mother in the past life, and what a kind assumption/belief!

Humans are excellent at weaving stories and making up beliefs to understand this world in a hopeful way. Cynicism is also a belief system, but i wonder what it actually contributes to life apart from misery. Hope and looking at the little good we have in life, together become enough for someone standing on the edge of a cliff to turn around and start again. Life is only about going forwards, never backwards. This lovely movie "Memoirs of a snail" had so much pain in it and yet when it finishes you are filled with hope. Hope and love inspire us like nothing other, they make us uberman. thats why all the prophets and people who understood life in a broader picture always spoke about love and light and hope and beauty of life, despite all of them facing extensive hate against them.

People spread hate against things they don't understand or are too afraid to do themselves, deep down they envy and want exactly what they hate. 

Death makes me think of a moment of complete clarity where you actually are going to remember and feel how you made most of the people around you feel in your entire lifetime. When we have hope and love, we give and share, we make others' lives better and not for some selfish gain or fame, it just happens.

Death in many religions is called a day of judgment, the day when your heart is weighed against the feather of truth, and the mode of death tells you how you well you lived. All said and done, We cannot live better in the fear of death, but yes we can think about it a bit everyday. 

It will bring you clarity about your futility, oblivion and keep you humble, it will make you more expressive for all your emotions and you would also be able to give up trivial and petty fights.

Impermanence is best exemplified by death.

Death is a new beginning, is it?